The Job Saga Part 2

Ok so, I planned on finishing this up sooner, but I get on a "blogging" kick and I do a bunch of posts, then if I quit, it takes a while for me to come back and post again. In any case, here's the rest of the story (sorry it's kind of long)....

So, I drove the kids home, trying to decide if I should be really, REALLY angry, or if I was totally over re-acting having not known the whole story behind what I saw. I called my sister, as I always do when I have ANY kind of questions about just about anything (good thing she likes me and doesn't get tired of it!), and asked her if I should be upset. I always need a second opinion, because I think I over exaggerate things a LOT. She agreed, and said she would be irritated too.  I planned on calling "Jane" that afternoon to see if I could discuss it with her on Friday, but then I remembered that she was leaving right after I picked the kids up to go on vacation for the weekend. That left me 3 days to stew over it and get more angry!

Friday I spent the day trying to focus on work, but mostly trying to figure out if I could just quit or what I'd do if I couldn't.  All I could think about were all the times that I had that "feeling/prompting" that I need to be home with my kids. I would dwell on those for a day or so and then the next day I'd feel good about work and love how our lives were going, so I ignored them.  We had a lesson last spring in Relief Society at church about choosing right from wrong, and the topic that was discussed more was distinguishing good from best.  I wasn't listening that intently until a friend of mine gave the example of working moms.  She explained that while sometimes it's necessary for a mom to work, sometimes we need to look outside the box to make it work without the mom's income. I knew then that I was working because I enjoyed the extra financial freedom it gave me to do the things I wanted, but that I needed to be home with my kids because that was more important. Again, I brushed that off after a day or two and went on with my life, but that has always kind of lingered in my mind. So on friday, I looked at our finances and decided we could make it work without my income once Adam got his raise that he'd be getting in a month or so. I made arrangements with one of the girls in our neighborhood to watch the boys starting (possibly) on Monday until school started, but I left a small "benefit of the doubt" room incase something changed after I talked to "Jane" on Monday. I was just hoping that that would buy me enough time and I'd be really able to quit when school started and I lost my babysitter.

On Sunday evening, I decided I'd warn "Jane" that I wanted to talk with her so she wasn't caught totally off guard, and maybe I wanted her to stew over it too... So I called. There was no answer. I tried again in the morning before I left to go over, and still no answer. Oh well- her problem now not mine. On the way there, Deegan whined and complained that he didn't want to go. I still hadn't decided if I was going to leave the boys or not, but I had paid her for the next month, and our contract said that I had to give 2 weeks notice and then anything after that would be returned, so I kind of couldn't justify paying a babysitter twice for 2 weeks.  When we got there, the boys stayed in the car and I went to the door. Her 9 year old answered the door, so I asked where "Jane" was. She came, and I asked if we could talk outside.  We stepped outside and I told her that I had a possible problem but that I didn't want to make it a problem until I knew the whole story, so I said that I'd tell her what I knew and she could fill in the blanks after.  She agreed, so I told her the story up until I saw Griffin in the backyard alone, and said "you can understand why that would upset me, right?" Nervously she said yes and then explained that the kids had been eating lunch and Deegan went upstairs to use the bathroom and had an accident. She went up to help him, and left the kids eating (Griffin in a highchair).  While she was up there, the 9 year old girl got Griffin down, the 2 year old boy went outside and Griffin followed. The 2 year old came back in and must have closed the door on Griff.  It wasn't until her husband heard crying and said "where's Griffin?" that anyone noticed he was gone.  The looked around and finally found him at the back door pounding, and that's when the 9 y.o. let him in.
Well, that was better than what I had expected, but it was still not a good explanation.  So, I told her, "Ok, well then... here's the rest of the story..." and I explained that I came back around and that she didn't tell me what had happened when I asked.  Her reason was "I didn't know yet".  Well, if I were her, I think I would have 1. heard a crying baby and asked what happened, and 2. not made an excuse if I didn't know and just asked the kids/husband while the mom (me) was standing there.  Then she said "I need to tell my girls to be better about watching him." (NEWSFLASH.... I would NEVER pay a 9 year old and a 7 year old to watch my 1 year old! IT'S NOT THEIR JOB!!!) All I said was "well, I'm quitting my job, so this is my 2 weeks notice."  Her response was "Oh that's great, I know you wanted to quit". I explained that I DIDN'T plan on quitting and that this was the straw that broke the camel's back.  She just smiled and said that it would be good that I can be home with them. ARG!!! I wanted to punch her! I told her that Deegan was not wanting to stay and that I was going to take them home with me for the day and maybe I'd bring them tomorrow.  All the way home I was fuming because there are SO many problems with that story! Seriously, if I wanted to report her, she would lose her license and she just brushed it off like nothing happened! I should have! Or atleast demanded that she let me out of the contract immediately, but I was too much of a pushover. Anyway, I was glad to have atleast told her we were done.  That night we recieved a call that Adam's grandpa wasn't doing well and wouldn't probably make it through the night.  Adam and I took the next 2 days off to be with family and help with funeral arrangements, so luckilly I didn't have to take the kids to "Jane's" house.  I called and let her know they wouldn't be there and she kept asking questions like: "So did you quit your job? (No- I'm not quitting yet) "Who's going to watch your boys then?" (A friend) "Oh, just a high school girl?" (Yes, but I know she will do the job right and I know and trust her and her family) "Well, you'll have to pay her more than you pay me." (Nope, the same, but that's not an issue anyway for care I can trust). I couldn't believe that THAT was her argument to get me to stay with her! Thursday I had a meeting that I needed to be at, so I couldn't let the kids stay home, so I forced myself to try and trust "Jane" and take them.  When I dropped them off I felt awful, and even though I know she is a decent person, I still didn't want to leave them there because she now had no vested interest, but I had no other options.  When I went to pick them up, they were standing on the front porch ready to go (shoes and back pack on Deegan, Griffin and blanket in Jane's hand and all gathered up). That has NEVER happened. Normally when I picked them up, they were still eating or playing or whatever and I was there for 15-30 minutes getting them all ready to go.  I decided then that I was done taking the kids to her house. I called her on Sunday and told her that I wasn't bringing the boys becuase Griffin was sick and that I felt better about just keeping them home with me anyway. When she asked if I was sure, I said yes and told her I'd rather be able to know what they are doing and who's watching them. Her reply was "Oh, well then.... I guess I wont get to really say goodbye to the boys..." I just said, yeah. (What do I or they care if she says goodbye?)

That same weekend, I had talked with a friend who was looking for a good daycare that would work with her schedule. I told her the only one I knew of I had fired, but then I offered to keep her little girl.  We talked about it Sunday and the difference of what she'd pay me was what we'd need to make up for Adam not having his raise yet, so it was settled that I'd watch her baby about 4 weeks later. I wanted to make sure I gave my boss enough time for me to help train the replacement, or whatever he needed to work out, but I wanted a couple days to make sure this was the best option first, so I planned on telling him on Wednesday or Thursday.  That monday, he and I were talking about the fact that my task load was piling up and not moving as quickly as normal.  He asked if it was just because of the death in the family or if there was something else going on, so I asked if I could come in and talk to him. I called my babysitter, Kara, and she was there in a few minutes and I called Adam to tell him I was quitting. All the way there I tried to figure out what I was going to tell him because I was pretty sure he was NOT anticipating this, or prepared in any way.  When I got in, I just said "I need to quit".  I explained my daycare situation and that I felt like I needed to be home with my kids. I told him that I just couldn't give 100% to my kids and my job at the same time anymore. He respected that, and said he thought I was making the right choice, but then he asked if there was anything he could do to make it work better for me, or to atleast let me work part time.  I told him I'd be willing to consider it, but that I was only willing to do what I can do when my kids are asleep and that it can't interfere with my "Mom" schedule.  He asked for a few days to see what he could figure out and that was that.  I started training Francis, the guy in the Philipines that I had been training for a while, at SUPER speed to try and get him up to speed because I still figured I'd be more or less quitting.  Finally the last few days before I was ready to quit, my boss told me he wanted me to still work on training and a few other odd tasks 10-15 hours/week. That's where I am now, and I am LOVING having my days free to go to the park and play and take walks and read books and make dinner and do dishes and laundry.  The first few days I spent scrubbing my house floor to ceiling just because I finally could! I was so excited! (That excitement has settled, and now I just do the cleaning I have to do ;-), but my house is cleaner than it has been in 2 years and I love it!) 

On a side note, when "Jane" came to bring me my check for the weeks I paid past the 2 weeks, she tried to justify that day when Griffin was left outside by telling me all the precautions that she normally takes to keep the kids in and safe, etc. and that it was just a weird coincidence and I explained that I was frustrated with her before that because she seemed distracted all summer and that I was just trying to wait until school was back in hoping that it would be better. I explained that maybe she needs to work on her priorities when her kids are home, or maybe not do daycare in the summers. (I was proud of myself for speaking my mind!)  But I also realized that maybe this was just the Lord's way of being blunt and straight forward that I need to be home with my kids since I obviously wasn't listening before!  I struggled every day from when I decided to quit until I finally was done working full time with if I really wanted to quit. I was ok until someone brought up something like who my replacement was, or when I had to tell Francis that I ws quitting. I got kind of jealous that they were going to be doing my job. Now that I'm here, I wouldn't go back unless I really needed to. I LOVE it!