I think we'll skip next April

Adam and I have decided to cancel all future Aprils. All day on Wednesday the 2nd, all I could think about was that we were coming up on our 1 yr anniversary of Griffin's appendicitis ordeal in a couple of weeks. I kept feeling like something was a little off, but I blew it off as paranoia caused by Griffin. Wednesday night, after cuddling with Ritter for a bit, I went to put him to bed and noticed his forehead felt a little warm. I figured, maybe it's a little teething fever, or maybe he's just warm from snuggling and he's probably fine, so I put him to bed. Thursday morning he woke up at 5:00 like he does every morning (to have a bottle and go back to bed). He had a fever of 104.2, so I quickly gave him some Tylenol, a bottle and snuggled a bit with him. He was cranky and irritable, so he didn't go back to sleep for long. When the other boys woke up, Ritter wanted to go play with them, so I sent him downstairs to play. His temp was at about 102 at that point and I was a little worried that it had been 2 hours and was still only down to 102, so of course, I started Googling (is that a word?) toddler fevers and what to watch for, etc. Trying to decide if I'd take him in to the doctor, he came back upstairs whining and wanting to be held. As I tried to calm him down, he suddenly started twitching and went into a seizure. Fortunately and unfortunately my good friend and neighbor across the street has been in the thick of seizures with her little girl for the last few months, so I knew she could help me quickly. I have seen seizures before, but when it is your own baby, it's a whole different scenario. As I searched around me in a panic for my phone, I debated if I should call 911 or Briana, but my fingers couldn't figure out how to get to the number pad quickly enough and I have Briana on speed dial, so she was the one I called. I was so hysterical at that point that she could barely understand me and I was getting frustrated that I couldn't get the words out, "Ritter's having a seizure". She heard seizure and immediately ran over to my house, helped me set him down and called 911 for me. He was still breathing, but his mouth was filling with saliva and he was making a gurgling sound. I kept yelling at her that he was choking, but she reassured me that he was okay and this was all normal. It seemed like hours before the paramedics got there and he had stopped right before they did, but the seizure lasted about 5 minutes and he stopped breathing about half way through and was pretty purple. I was so sick to my stomach. The older boys were still playing in the basement, but of course they came up to see what was going on. I sent them back downstairs and Deegan went hesitantly, but Griffin didn't realize there was a problem and thought Ritter was playing a fun game so he stayed for a bit. When the paramedics got there, they checked everything imaginable and all were relieved that he had a fever since that gives us a reason for the seizure. Briana took the big boys to her house and the paramedics asked if we wanted to be transported. I was still in such a shock that I didn't know what to say, so I just said "I don't know". Ritter made a few movements that looked like he was getting ready to start seizing again, and I was scared. One of the men said, "I really think we better", so they carried Ritter out while I grabbed my shoes and purse. It was the bumpiest, longest ride of my life. He was still in the "coming out of it" phase and was crying non-stop. He stopped for just a second when I put the oxygen mask to his face, as if he was relieved, but then he started right back up. It took a good hour and half or so before he finally calmed down and fell asleep for a few minutes, but with all the poking and prodding at the E.R. he didn't get much time to rest. When we got to the E.R., they immediately loaded him up with ibuprofen and Tylenol to try and get his temp back down (it was back up to 104 at that point). After it came down  to 102 about an hour or 2 later, they ran some blood tests, urine test and x-rays to see if he had some kind of infection going on that was causing the high fever and everything looked normal except that his throat was kind of swollen. Truthfully, I was pretty sure they were going to tell us he had appendicitis. The doctor concluded that he had a little bit of croup coming on, so they gave him some steroids to help him breathe and sent us home after watching him for a bit.
My in-laws came and picked up the 2 big boys and took them to their house for a couple of days so we could just take care of Ritter. It was a huge blessing because neither Adam nor I slept that night. Ritter only slept when my hand was on his back, but if I moved he screamed really loud as if he was scared. Every little movement woke me up and my stomach was in knots. All day Friday, he wouldn't let me put him down. We napped together and again, every time I moved he screamed- not crying like a baby does when they don't want to be put down, fearful screaming. Saturday was a little better. He slept really well in his own bed Friday night and I think he needed that time to recover. Briana has told me that her doctors tell her that a seizure takes every ounce of energy your body has and it's like running a marathon when you've never trained for one.
For now, the doctor said this was only caused by his fever jumping quickly and that it's unlikely to happen again, but 1 out of 3 kids who have a febrile (fever related) seizure, have them again, and it can likely be just one of the triggers that causes him to have seizures. I guess we'll wait and see how he does. I'm a little less optimistic than I was when the doctors said everything was great with Griffin. That optimism seemed to cause me trouble, but I'll try not to be too pessimistic too.
I've had so many times that I knew we were inspired to move in to this house, but in the last year, that has been confirmed over and over again. What would I have done if I didn't have Briana? There's no chance a dispatcher would have understood me over the phone while I was crying and hysterical. I am so grateful that the Lord has watched over us and put the right people in my path at the right time.