The Job Saga Part 2

Ok so, I planned on finishing this up sooner, but I get on a "blogging" kick and I do a bunch of posts, then if I quit, it takes a while for me to come back and post again. In any case, here's the rest of the story (sorry it's kind of long)....

So, I drove the kids home, trying to decide if I should be really, REALLY angry, or if I was totally over re-acting having not known the whole story behind what I saw. I called my sister, as I always do when I have ANY kind of questions about just about anything (good thing she likes me and doesn't get tired of it!), and asked her if I should be upset. I always need a second opinion, because I think I over exaggerate things a LOT. She agreed, and said she would be irritated too.  I planned on calling "Jane" that afternoon to see if I could discuss it with her on Friday, but then I remembered that she was leaving right after I picked the kids up to go on vacation for the weekend. That left me 3 days to stew over it and get more angry!

Friday I spent the day trying to focus on work, but mostly trying to figure out if I could just quit or what I'd do if I couldn't.  All I could think about were all the times that I had that "feeling/prompting" that I need to be home with my kids. I would dwell on those for a day or so and then the next day I'd feel good about work and love how our lives were going, so I ignored them.  We had a lesson last spring in Relief Society at church about choosing right from wrong, and the topic that was discussed more was distinguishing good from best.  I wasn't listening that intently until a friend of mine gave the example of working moms.  She explained that while sometimes it's necessary for a mom to work, sometimes we need to look outside the box to make it work without the mom's income. I knew then that I was working because I enjoyed the extra financial freedom it gave me to do the things I wanted, but that I needed to be home with my kids because that was more important. Again, I brushed that off after a day or two and went on with my life, but that has always kind of lingered in my mind. So on friday, I looked at our finances and decided we could make it work without my income once Adam got his raise that he'd be getting in a month or so. I made arrangements with one of the girls in our neighborhood to watch the boys starting (possibly) on Monday until school started, but I left a small "benefit of the doubt" room incase something changed after I talked to "Jane" on Monday. I was just hoping that that would buy me enough time and I'd be really able to quit when school started and I lost my babysitter.

On Sunday evening, I decided I'd warn "Jane" that I wanted to talk with her so she wasn't caught totally off guard, and maybe I wanted her to stew over it too... So I called. There was no answer. I tried again in the morning before I left to go over, and still no answer. Oh well- her problem now not mine. On the way there, Deegan whined and complained that he didn't want to go. I still hadn't decided if I was going to leave the boys or not, but I had paid her for the next month, and our contract said that I had to give 2 weeks notice and then anything after that would be returned, so I kind of couldn't justify paying a babysitter twice for 2 weeks.  When we got there, the boys stayed in the car and I went to the door. Her 9 year old answered the door, so I asked where "Jane" was. She came, and I asked if we could talk outside.  We stepped outside and I told her that I had a possible problem but that I didn't want to make it a problem until I knew the whole story, so I said that I'd tell her what I knew and she could fill in the blanks after.  She agreed, so I told her the story up until I saw Griffin in the backyard alone, and said "you can understand why that would upset me, right?" Nervously she said yes and then explained that the kids had been eating lunch and Deegan went upstairs to use the bathroom and had an accident. She went up to help him, and left the kids eating (Griffin in a highchair).  While she was up there, the 9 year old girl got Griffin down, the 2 year old boy went outside and Griffin followed. The 2 year old came back in and must have closed the door on Griff.  It wasn't until her husband heard crying and said "where's Griffin?" that anyone noticed he was gone.  The looked around and finally found him at the back door pounding, and that's when the 9 y.o. let him in.
Well, that was better than what I had expected, but it was still not a good explanation.  So, I told her, "Ok, well then... here's the rest of the story..." and I explained that I came back around and that she didn't tell me what had happened when I asked.  Her reason was "I didn't know yet".  Well, if I were her, I think I would have 1. heard a crying baby and asked what happened, and 2. not made an excuse if I didn't know and just asked the kids/husband while the mom (me) was standing there.  Then she said "I need to tell my girls to be better about watching him." (NEWSFLASH.... I would NEVER pay a 9 year old and a 7 year old to watch my 1 year old! IT'S NOT THEIR JOB!!!) All I said was "well, I'm quitting my job, so this is my 2 weeks notice."  Her response was "Oh that's great, I know you wanted to quit". I explained that I DIDN'T plan on quitting and that this was the straw that broke the camel's back.  She just smiled and said that it would be good that I can be home with them. ARG!!! I wanted to punch her! I told her that Deegan was not wanting to stay and that I was going to take them home with me for the day and maybe I'd bring them tomorrow.  All the way home I was fuming because there are SO many problems with that story! Seriously, if I wanted to report her, she would lose her license and she just brushed it off like nothing happened! I should have! Or atleast demanded that she let me out of the contract immediately, but I was too much of a pushover. Anyway, I was glad to have atleast told her we were done.  That night we recieved a call that Adam's grandpa wasn't doing well and wouldn't probably make it through the night.  Adam and I took the next 2 days off to be with family and help with funeral arrangements, so luckilly I didn't have to take the kids to "Jane's" house.  I called and let her know they wouldn't be there and she kept asking questions like: "So did you quit your job? (No- I'm not quitting yet) "Who's going to watch your boys then?" (A friend) "Oh, just a high school girl?" (Yes, but I know she will do the job right and I know and trust her and her family) "Well, you'll have to pay her more than you pay me." (Nope, the same, but that's not an issue anyway for care I can trust). I couldn't believe that THAT was her argument to get me to stay with her! Thursday I had a meeting that I needed to be at, so I couldn't let the kids stay home, so I forced myself to try and trust "Jane" and take them.  When I dropped them off I felt awful, and even though I know she is a decent person, I still didn't want to leave them there because she now had no vested interest, but I had no other options.  When I went to pick them up, they were standing on the front porch ready to go (shoes and back pack on Deegan, Griffin and blanket in Jane's hand and all gathered up). That has NEVER happened. Normally when I picked them up, they were still eating or playing or whatever and I was there for 15-30 minutes getting them all ready to go.  I decided then that I was done taking the kids to her house. I called her on Sunday and told her that I wasn't bringing the boys becuase Griffin was sick and that I felt better about just keeping them home with me anyway. When she asked if I was sure, I said yes and told her I'd rather be able to know what they are doing and who's watching them. Her reply was "Oh, well then.... I guess I wont get to really say goodbye to the boys..." I just said, yeah. (What do I or they care if she says goodbye?)

That same weekend, I had talked with a friend who was looking for a good daycare that would work with her schedule. I told her the only one I knew of I had fired, but then I offered to keep her little girl.  We talked about it Sunday and the difference of what she'd pay me was what we'd need to make up for Adam not having his raise yet, so it was settled that I'd watch her baby about 4 weeks later. I wanted to make sure I gave my boss enough time for me to help train the replacement, or whatever he needed to work out, but I wanted a couple days to make sure this was the best option first, so I planned on telling him on Wednesday or Thursday.  That monday, he and I were talking about the fact that my task load was piling up and not moving as quickly as normal.  He asked if it was just because of the death in the family or if there was something else going on, so I asked if I could come in and talk to him. I called my babysitter, Kara, and she was there in a few minutes and I called Adam to tell him I was quitting. All the way there I tried to figure out what I was going to tell him because I was pretty sure he was NOT anticipating this, or prepared in any way.  When I got in, I just said "I need to quit".  I explained my daycare situation and that I felt like I needed to be home with my kids. I told him that I just couldn't give 100% to my kids and my job at the same time anymore. He respected that, and said he thought I was making the right choice, but then he asked if there was anything he could do to make it work better for me, or to atleast let me work part time.  I told him I'd be willing to consider it, but that I was only willing to do what I can do when my kids are asleep and that it can't interfere with my "Mom" schedule.  He asked for a few days to see what he could figure out and that was that.  I started training Francis, the guy in the Philipines that I had been training for a while, at SUPER speed to try and get him up to speed because I still figured I'd be more or less quitting.  Finally the last few days before I was ready to quit, my boss told me he wanted me to still work on training and a few other odd tasks 10-15 hours/week. That's where I am now, and I am LOVING having my days free to go to the park and play and take walks and read books and make dinner and do dishes and laundry.  The first few days I spent scrubbing my house floor to ceiling just because I finally could! I was so excited! (That excitement has settled, and now I just do the cleaning I have to do ;-), but my house is cleaner than it has been in 2 years and I love it!) 

On a side note, when "Jane" came to bring me my check for the weeks I paid past the 2 weeks, she tried to justify that day when Griffin was left outside by telling me all the precautions that she normally takes to keep the kids in and safe, etc. and that it was just a weird coincidence and I explained that I was frustrated with her before that because she seemed distracted all summer and that I was just trying to wait until school was back in hoping that it would be better. I explained that maybe she needs to work on her priorities when her kids are home, or maybe not do daycare in the summers. (I was proud of myself for speaking my mind!)  But I also realized that maybe this was just the Lord's way of being blunt and straight forward that I need to be home with my kids since I obviously wasn't listening before!  I struggled every day from when I decided to quit until I finally was done working full time with if I really wanted to quit. I was ok until someone brought up something like who my replacement was, or when I had to tell Francis that I ws quitting. I got kind of jealous that they were going to be doing my job. Now that I'm here, I wouldn't go back unless I really needed to. I LOVE it!

The Job Saga part 1

A little background info on my job... I love my job. I work for a telemarketing company with a new and very innovative way of doing telemarketing. My job is to build/program and manage the scripting software that the agents use. My boss and I agreed when I took the position that it needed to be flexible for my kids and that I would work mostly from home. It has worked out great, with the exception of a couple babysitter issues.
In April, I had decided that it was too difficult to work full time and be a mom to 2 crazy little boys, so I intended to ask my boss if I could cut back in the next couple of months to part time.

The day I went in to ask him, I chickened out because his boss was in and he intimidates me! The next day was a day I worked from home all day and just went in for an afternoon meeting. My boss asked me to come in early and told me not to worry, that this was a good thing. I was a nervous wreck because I didn't know what to expect or if I wanted this "good thing". When we met he asked me if I'd be willing to train some script developers in the Phillipines and then manage them as the company grows. I am always looking for a new challenge, and I wasn't prepared to turn down such an opportunity, so I accepted. The potential to grow in that position was extremely tremendous! I could stay with the company and advance as quickly and as much as I wanted if I accepted this position, so I did. I decided that life was good the way it was and I could handle it and so could my boys. Adam was just finishing school that month, so we'd have more time together and things would be good, and they were... Until July 21st....

My boys were going to a daycare 4 mornings a week (M-Th) just so they could have some time to socialize and get out of the house and I had a few hours to focus on work. The daycare provider (we'll call her 'Jane') also taught preschool, so it was great for Deegan, and she didn't have other daycare kids- just mine. She did this out of her home with her 4 kids as well (9 yrs, 7 yrs, 5 yrs, and 2 yrs old). She is highly qualified with a bachelors degree in elementary education and 8 yrs of preschool and daycare experience. I was happy and my kids were happy (90% of the time). After school got out for the summer and she wasn't doing preschool and her kids were all home, she got a little lax about things, and I tried to wait it out, knowing it was just a summer issue.

On Thursday, July 21, I drove in to the driveway with my windows down and heard a crying baby. The neighbor's car had just pulled in as well, so I assumed the crying was from there because it sounded a little distant. I walked up to the door and knocked and there was no answer. I knocked again and still no answer. Then it occured to me that maybe they were playing in the backyard and it WAS Griffin I heard. I walked back down the steps and around to the back of the house. As I got to the back fence (which consisted of cheap garden fencing and tree stake type poles) I saw Griffin alone on the back deck- Crying his heart out as he pounded on the sliding glass door. I wasn't sure what to do because the fence had no "gate" and I couldn't climb over it easilly, but I didn't want to leave him there while I went around front because the deck was more of a small landing with stairs down to the cement pad at the bottom. Griffin was still pretty unstable in his walking, so I knew that being upset if he turned around he'd just fall straight to the bottom. For a few seconds I tried to get his attention to try and calm him down so he could crawl down the stairs safely, but he didn't hear me. Just then the door slid open and the 9 year old girl grabbed him and took him in. She didn't see me, so I walked around to the front and knocked again. I didn't know what to think and was a little afraid that I was over reacting about something I only saw for a split second. When Jane answered the door, she was holding Griffin, who was still screaming. As I walked in and played dumb, I asked why he was crying. Jane's response was "I don't know, he's been so happy all day! He JUST started screaming a couple minutes ago!" I just said "Hmm" and continued putting his shoes on. Then she added, "...he was rubbing his eyes, so he's probably tired." Trying not to be quick to accuse, I said nothing. She must have felt my frustration because then she added "I was upstairs because Deegan had an accident and I was helping him change, so... something may have happened, but I'm not sure". That comment made me furious, and I just signed them out and left without saying much.

July

July was Crazy Busy! We had 6 family Birthdays, and 2 holidays, a funeral and a lot of chaos, but it was a great month looking back!

We started the month off with fireworks on the 1st at USU. I love that we can always see the fireworks on the weekend for the 4th of July Holiday up here in Cache Valley! The next day we headed down to Syracuse to enjoy the 4th of July festivities with both families and a visit with Adam's Sister Lori and her family who came in from Chicago. It was so much fun to see them again! I tried to convince Lori to let me keep her Kaity for the rest of the summer because she adored my boys, and I kinda adore her! Lori was unwilling :-(




While Lori was here, her Sweet Blake got to fulfill a BIG dream of his, and we got to go along. Blake is a BIG fan of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, especially the director, Mack Wilberg. Through family friends and connections in the area, we were able to go see the choir practice for their sunday performance and were given preferential treatment the whole time. They gave us the best seats in the house for the best sound. Half way through the practice, Mack Wilberg stopped and welcomed all who were there to see the practice, then announced that there was an honorary member in the audience- Blake Fifield. Blake stood up, put his arms up in the air and looked around at the congregation, then bowed a few times.... I could just see him picturing himself as the star of a big show with spotlights and applause! The choir applauded and chuckled a bit when he bowed. After the practice, Mack came down and met Blake. Blake was in HEAVEN! The Smile and excitement on his face as he waited for Mack to walk toward him was priceless! What a blessing Blake is in our lives, he has such a sweet, honest spirit!


While we waited for the choir practice to begin, we toured the LDS Conference Center. I've seen the tour before, but it was fun to hear about it again and learn new things. And as always, the company made it even more enjoyable.

Among the hustle and bustle of July, Griffin learned that he can climb! He's gotten VERY good at getting himself up on anything he wants... His favorite place is looking out his bedroom window. Luckily he hasn't tried to climb out of the crib, but I have seen him try to climb in a couple times (to get his beloved blanket of course!)

We closed the month with Adam's Grandpa Lemon's reunion with his loving wife on the other side! It was hard to watch him go and wait knowing he was laying there in agony awaiting his time to see her again, but such a relief and a blessing to feel the joy they had when they re-united! He was a great man and one I'm proud to have known and be related to! He brought a lot of love and joy to the family.

June Travels

What a summer it's been! We've had lots of fun and been super busy. Here's a recap of what we've been doing and where we've been... In June Adam and I decided to take a weekend away. It was kind of our Valentine's Day that we never had time for! We wanted to go somewhere that wasn't too far, but far enough that it was kind of new to us. We considered Denver, then decided on Boise becuase it's closer. We didn't realize at the time that the drive to Boise was 5 hours! Anyway, we had a great weekend away and enjoyed seeing something new for a change! We missed the boys a lot though... Everywhere we went we thought about what we could have done with them, or what we could get to take home to them. We decided to bring home a new toy for each of them. Deegan got a Bubble Mower which he LOVED. (We didn't take any pictures in Boise.. lame, I know! So here's pics of Deeg Loving his mower)

The week before that (after our hotel was already paid for and we couldn't change our plans), my Best Friend from High School (Tiffany) told me she and her husband and 2 sweet boys were going to the temple to be sealed! I was SUPER excited! I didn't get to go to her wedding because I was 9 1/2 months pregnant, so I had been waiting for this day forever!!! The sealing was 2 weeks after our trip to Boise, and it was in Denver :-) So instead of Adam missing work and having to make the drive with me, I invited my sister to join me. It was such a fun weekend of just being girls- not moms, not wives, not work associates... just girls! We drove out on Friday morning. We were able to stay with Keli's sweet sister in law, Viola, and spent time with the Ames family. Viola has 3 adorable little girls who could just make anyone's heart melt, and they spent lots of time cuddling with me while I was there. They even called me Aunt Katie, which I kinda liked ;-). Saturday morning I met up with my "long lost" other best friend from HS, Maria. It was SO good to catch up with her. It had been about 7 years since she and I had seen eachother or really even talked. I was amazed at how easilly we just picked up where we left off like it had just been yesterday that we saw eachother. She and I drove up to the temple together, so we had a good hour or so to talk each way. The temple and the sealing were absolutely beautiful! Everything went so well, and Tiffany's little family was just glowing! Tiffany, Maria, and I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening hanging out doing what girls do best- shopping and talking, then Sunday it was back to reality! It was definately a good trip and one I'd like to make more than once every 6 years! I missed Colorado once I got there, but it sure was nice to be home in my quiet little Providence, UT.